ME: You know, a lot of people don't like Fernando's... they say that it's too dive-y and they don't like the donkey.
KERRI: Get over the donkey! I mean... it has a Garfield on it... you get cake here! You get cake here! I mean, c'mooonnn!
ME: Do you mind if I give you an exit interview for my blog?
KERRI: Sure... I love that Wheel of Fortune is on... it's Fernando's in a nutshell
ME: Describe Chicago in one word
KERRI: Eclectic
ME: Cop out.
ME: Chicago is a thirsty city... what was your drunkest night here?
KERRI: The vodka night at Joe's... it's gotta be... I didn't remember that I cooked pizza and I probably fell asleep in the bathroom for half an hour. I learned that vodka is my nemesis
ME: Good answer, that night was insane
ME: What is your favorite part about the city?
KERRI: Being so close to the lake... even though it's not the ocean
ME: What is your least favorite part about the city?
KERRI: The Midwest Mentality
ME: What do you mean?
KERRI: Like when we were apartment hunting and that guy was talking about Boys Town like, 'That's where the switch hitters live with their rainbow flags'
ME: Oh ya... that guy sucked.
ME: What is your favorite Chicago-centric word or term?
KERRI: What do you mean?
ME: Like... your favorite term you learned in Chicago... like, 'Trixie'
KERRI: Oh... probably 'gentrified'... that was a whole new term
ME: Ya, it just sounds wrong
ME: What are 3 Hidden Gems you've found?
KERRI: 1 - The Lincoln Park Zoo, because it's free
2 - All the free festivals
3 - Diagonal streets get you to places quicker
ME: What piece of advice would you give to visitors?
KERRI: You will not be able to see everything in one visit and the El is your friend
ME: What was your scariest Chicago experience?
KERRI: Going to the south side to look for a job and a white guy with an SUV gave me a ride because he said I shouldn't be walking around by myself... after I got back on the El, I realized I had been in a car with a complete stranger
KERRI: These questions are really good
ME: Well, I did write for the Collegian that one time
ME: What was your most exciting Chicago experience?
KERRI: The Barack Obama thing that we went to
ME: Oh, do you mean... election night? Is that what you are referring to as "The Barack Obama thing"?
KERRI: Hehehe... ya...
ME: What is your favorite movie based in or around Chicago?
KERRI: On one hand, Batman... Home Alone... Adventures in Babysitting is grand...
ME: Okay, choose one
KERRI: The one that's coming out because I saw where they were filming it at Powell's Books... what is it called?
ME: Nightmare on Elm Street?
KERRI: Ya...
ME: Freddy Kreuger fan, are you?
KERRI: No...
ME: Okay, now I'm going to ask you 'Inside the Actor's Studio' questions... What is your favorite swear word?
KERRI: Fuck
ME: What is your favorite sound?
KERRI: Y'know those bugs that you hear in summer?
ME: Yes
ME: If Heaven exists, what would you like them to say to you upon your arrival?
KERRI: I would like them to give me devil horns and ask me, 'What's Up?'
ME: Okay
KERRI: Wait, no... retract that, retract that... I want them to say, 'Jesus IS gay, you were absolutely correct'
ME: Okay, finally... and most importantly, What was your favorite episode of Supernatural?
KERRI: The one where Sam dies
ME: What??
KERRI: Not because he dies! Because it's creepy in the ghost town and intense... and Jensen Ackles is just so distraught
ME: Okay...
(Kerri is Team Ackles, I'm Team Padalecki)
GOOD LUCK IN ABU DHABI, YOU GIANT LEGEND OF THE SEEKER WATCHING, DRAGON LOVING NERD!!
*Editor's Note: Kerri is an asshole.
2 comments:
Hilarious post. Also, is that Kerri sitting in the back of a CAR-TRUCK? My eyes could be failing me, or I could have just viewed one of the most hilarious photos of all time...I feel like there's only a handful of people in the world that would truly appreciate that.
Yes, I double dared her to do it after a Cubs game... and she DID.
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