Laaaaayyy-diiieeeesss... the jig is up... we've been coasting along these last few years without the menfolk being totally aware of our obligations to "give" when we "receive", but on Superbowl Sunday Adriana Lima and Teleflora.com had the *courage* to come forward and remind everyone of our place in this world.
In case you've forgotten the flower to sexual favor currency rate, I've listed it here for your use. Good Luck on Valentine's Day, ladies! And remember... we're nothing more but whores for flowers, chocolates and cheap teddy bears!
DANDELIONS - 1 second of eye contact
BABY'S BREATH - Flutter your eyelashes for 10 seconds
CARNATIONS (of any color) - 1 smile with teeth or 1 wink
DAISIES - 1 knock-knock joke involving a blonde in a bar
STARGAZER LILIES - hold hands for a total of 5 minutes or a flirtatious hair toss coupled with a giggle
CALLA LILY - 20 second ass out hug or a 5 second closed mouth kiss
DAFFODIL - Wild card
TULIP - French kiss
SHORT STEM ROSE - loosen up your wrist
LONG STEM ROSE - hope you've been practicing with bananas
ORCHID - Do the deed, Go all the way, Hit a homerun, Seal the Deal... you get it.
Florists and Prostitutes... the oldest professions in the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment