Ohhh... I hate that bird... puppet... thing!!

Maggie Simpson has the Unibrow Baby... my arch-nemesis is a puppet named Dustin from Dublin. It all began when I was studying abroad in said city, which later would be affectionately referred to as "The Dirty Dub"... I kept seeing this fuckin' bird on RTE and on the side of buses and things... who the fuck is that bird?? Why is he on TV?? Why does he wear hats and suits?? Why does he look like a poor person created him out of socks and ping pong balls??
I even tried to WATCH Dustin to understand him... the X-Men taught me well, "people fear what they do not understand"... so I tried to figure out what this mutant was all about... bad jokes? Sports commentary? I DIDN'T GET IT!! I STILL DO NOT GET IT!!
And now my sister tells me that Ireland has voted for Dustin to represent their country and compete in a televised talent show called "Eurovision". Wow... wow... what are Dustin's talents? Can he tap dance? Can he twirl fire batons? Will he put an even smaller puppet made out of underpants and bottle caps on his knee and show off his ventriloquism skills to the nth degree?
Maybe someday I'll get it... maybe someday Dustin the Turkey will burrow his way into my heart... for now... NO!! He remains an enigma, an annoyance, a DISEASE that I don't want anything to do with. I'll post his picture here, though... maybe you can understand the anger and confusion I feel when I look at him.