All real southern guys have feathered bangs, popped collar polo shirts or oxfords, and wear either gray New Balance or Rainbow sandals. With this tip, they'll stick out like sore thumbs.
I also knew from legend that they wore madras Bermuda shorts and sometimes boat shoes... in short, you could easily confuse a preppy Southern guy's sexual preference based on his overall appearance. To make it even more clear, I should not expect to see this:
More like... this:
Probably riding one of these...
Without one of these...
Talking on one of these...
Undoubtedly named something like Chase, Hunter or Preston... I'm sure they are nice guys, but when I hear the bzzz-bzzz of an electric scooter or moped and hear the incessant "meep-meep-meeeeep! Meeeeeep-meeeeep!!" as someone drives into our apartment parking lot, I expect to look up and see a little girrrrrrrlll...
... and then they pile into an open air vehicle with a handful of other young men to go in search of an Orange Mocha Frappuccino and gasoline fights... or maybe a road trip to Fort Sumter where they miss the turn off and end up going to Myrtle Beach instead.
The jury is still out on whether or not I find Southern dudes amusing, annoying or perplexing... maybe a little bit of both. All I know is that by comparison, all guys from the North look like this:
1 comment:
So. Grizzly Adams DOES have a beard.
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